More Reasons Christians Shouldn't Live Together

It's REBELLION
1 Thess 4.3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification:£ that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4that each one of you know how to control his own body£ in holiness and honor, 5not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

Its DISHONORING yourself
1 Cor 6.13...The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

It's DANGEROUS
Rev. 22.12“Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay everyone for what he has done. 13I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”

14Blessed are those who wash their robes,£ so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. 15Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.

It's DESECRATION
Eph 5.31–32 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

So why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you enough to do it right? Why should YOU compromise with a coward? If they can't commit, you must omit (them from your life.) The harsh reality is that even though it hurts now it will hurt less than when the coward finds someone else more interesting later on.

7 Reasons not to Live Together before Marriage

Ripped from the St Cloud Diocese Website

1. Those who live together before marriage tend not to marry. Over 50 percent of couples who live together will end their relationships before marriage.[1] Moreover, while many couples choose to cohabit in an attempt to test the relationship and prevent the pain of divorce, the "premarital divorce" is often times just as painful as divorce itself. [2]

2.Those who live together before marriage have higher separation and divorce rates. The Journal of Marriage and Family reported marriages that are preceded by living together have 50 percent higher disruption rates than marriages without premarital cohabitation.[3] The Universities of Chicago and Michigan reported that those who cohabit before marriage have substantially higher divorce rates than those who do not; the recorded differentials range from 50 to 100 percent.[4]

The University of Wisconsin at Madison researchers report that cohabitors perceived greater likelihood of divorce than couples who did not cohabitate before marriage and the longer couples live together outside of marriage, the higher likelihood of divorce.[5]

3. Those who live together before marriage have unhappier marriages. A review of 10 cohabitation studies found that those who cohabitate prior to marriage show a significantly lower marital quality and have significantly higher risk of marital dissolution at any given duration.[6]

Couples who lived together before marriage also separated more often, sought counseling more often and regarded marriage as a less important part of their life than those who did not live together before marriage.[7]

4. Those living together before marriage have more frequent disagreements, more fights and violence. Three studies find this to be true. Pennsylvania State University researchers found that those who live together were more negative and less positive when resolving a marital problem and when providing support to their partner.[8] They also found that husbands and wives who had lived together before marriage were more verbally aggressive, less supportive of one another and generally more hostile than spouses who had not lived together.[9]

Another study found that couples who cohabitate before marriage have less problem solving skills, poorer communication skills, and are more negative while attempting to resolve marital conflicts compared to married couples who have never cohabitated.[10]

Research reports couples who live together have more frequent disagreements, more fights and violence, lower levels of fairness and happiness with their relationships compared to married people.[11]

5. Those who live together do not experience the best sex. The National Institute for Healthcare Research found that couples not involved before marriage and faithful during marriage are more satisfied with their current sex life than those who were involved sexually before marriage.[12] Another study done by the Family Research Council found that 72 percent of all married “traditionalists” (those who strongly believe out-of-wedlock sex is wrong) reported high sexual satisfaction. This is roughly 31 percentage points higher than the level by unmarried “non-traditionalists.” Religious women are most satisfied with the frequency of intercourse and were more orgasmic than are the nonreligious.[13]

6. Those who live together before marriage experience more behavioral problems. Compared with married couples, cohabitors report higher levels of:

Alcohol problems.[14]
Aggression is twice as common.[15]
Greater marital instability, lower marital satisfaction and poorer communication.[16]
Depression rates are more than three times higher.[17] According to a study done by the National Institute of Mental Health the depression rates of cohabitating women are second only to those twice divorced. [18]
Women being assaulted is 56 times higher.[19]

7.Living together outside of marriage negatively impacts their children. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, researchers from the National Marriage Project, found that children living with cohabiting biological parents who are unmarried are 20 times more likely to be abused and children whose mother lives with a boyfriend who is not the biological father are 33 times more likely to be abused than children with married biological parents.[20]

Compared to children in intact families, children in cohabiting households had more behavioral problems and poorer academic scores,[21] and are five times more likely to experience their parents separating.[22]



Numerous empirical studies indicate that living together does not produce healthier, happier marriages, but the contrary. Mature love is built on the security of knowing that your love is exclusive and permanent.






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Sources
1. Popence and Whitehead, "Should We Live Together?" 2002, p. 6, http://marriage.rutgers.edu/publicat.htm
2. McManus, Mike & Harriet. Living Together: Myths, Risks, & Answers. Howard Books, New York, 2008, p.61.
3. Bumpass, Sweet and Cherlin, “The Role of Cohabitation in Declining Rates of Marriage” Journal of Marriage and the Family 52 (1991) 913-927.
4. William G. Axinn and Arland Thorton, “The Relationship Between Cohabitation and Divorce: Selectivity or Casual Influence?” Demography (1992): 358.
5. Elizabeth Thomson and Ugo Colella, “Cohabitation and Marital Stability: Quality or Commitment?” (Study of more than 13,000 adults) Journal of Marriage and the Family 54 (1992): 266.
6. Alfred DeMarris and K. Vaninadha Roa, “Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability in the United States: A Reassessment,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 54 (1992): 178.
7. John D. Cunningham and John K. Antill, “Cohabitation and Marriage: Retrospective and Predictive Comparisons,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (1994): 90.
8. Dr. Catherine L. Cohan, “Living Together Pre-Marriage May Lead to Divorce,” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (2002): 180-192
9. Ibid
10. McManus, Mike & Harriet. Living Together: Myths, Risks, & Answers. Howard Books, New York, 2008, p. 72.
11. Susan L. Brown and Alan Booth, “Cohabitation Versus Marriage: A Comparison of Relationship Quality,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 58 (1996): 668-678.
12. David B. Larson, MD, NMSPH, et al, “The Costly Consequences of Divorce: Assessing the Clinical, Economic, and Public Health Impact of Marital Disruption in the United States,” National Institute for Healthcare Research, Rockville, Maryland. (1994): 84-85
13. David Larson and Mary Ann Mayo, “Believe Well, Live Well,” Family Research Council (1994).
14. Allan V. Horowitz et al, “The Relationship of Cohabitation and Mental Health: A Study of Young Adult Cohort,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60 (1998): 505-514.
15. Jan E. Stets, “The Link Between Past and Present Intimate Relationships,” Journal of Family Issues 14 (1993): 236
16. Ibid 236-260
17. Popenoe and Whitehead, “Should We Live Together? What Young Couples Need to Know about Cohabitation Before Marriage,” National Marriage Project, Rutgers, (1999): 7.
18. Lee Robins and Darrel Regier, Psychiatric Disorders in America: The Epidemiologic Catchment Area Study (New York: Free Press, 1991), p. 64.
19. University of Wisconsin’s National Survey of Families and Households, American Family Association Journal, July 1993.
20. Popenoe and Whitehead, Should We Live Together?” What Young Couples Need to Know about Cohabitation Before Marriage,” National Marriage Project, Rutgers, (1999): 8.
21. Ibid.
22. Cynthia Osborn, W.D. Manning and P.M. Smock, "Married and Cohabitating Parents' Relationship Stability: A Focus on Race and Ethnicity," Journal of Marriage and Family 69 (2007): 1345-1366, p. 1345.

The Slide Away from God

Yesterday I was musing to myself how far the US has come from its inception. Originally, the colonies were birthed out of a Biblical world view. While their application didn't always display absolute devotion to God, they recognized a few things very clearly. #1 - Rights come from God. The constitution of the US clearly reveals their view that the Creator has given men rights. #2- The role of the individual is accept the freedom to chase after (pursuit of happiness) the God given rights. #3- The role of government in this view is limited to assuring the ability to pursue those rights that God has given to man. Thus the government is to keep others from infringing upon the right to pursue life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Over time we have seen a shift away from the absolute truths of the Bible. Secular Humanistic philosophy differs from the Biblical view in that it puts man in the drivers seat. Human beings determine what is good - therefore (#1) rights come, not from God, but from the collective of men's best thinking This rejection of Biblical absolutes sets the stage for the following. The individuals role then is (#2) to aspire to the greatness of the group and the governments role is to (#3) to codify and insure the rights decided upon by the group.

Next in the slide away from God is the pursuit of Socialism. Based upon Humanism, the morphing is slight but important. (#1) Rights come from the elite leadership of the people, (#2) the individual works for the purpose to secure, for all the group, the rights deemed acceptable, and (#3) the governments role is to enforce the access to those rights and to squash any individualism that might threaten those predetermined rights.

Marxism is the next step in the slide away from a Biblical worldview. Here the rights are determined by (#1) Government. (#2) The individual is simply a cog in the communist machine- he loses all power to own for himself or to express individualism. He exists for the collective. (#3) Government is charged with the redistribution of all wealth.

If you read this far. Thanks. I'm sure that wasn't easy. Notice that in the first worldview people exist because of God's design and the government is the servant of the people. This is completely reversed the further you get away from a Biblical worldview. Man is no longer a free moral agent but the slave of the runaway governing body. Notice also, that Government usurps the place of God. It is the determiner of value, worth, and rights. Friends this is a dangerous slope, because all men are sinners, no men can be trusted with absolute authority.

In the recent days, the US has taken giant steps toward usurping the place of God and the individual. Confiscatory taxes on individuals, Education Reform, Nationalized health care, and the list goes on. Only when we return to the Scriptural understanding of man and God will we find the fulfillment of our aspirations for freedom. Americans need to wake up. Christians need to wake up and see that our country is being lead further away from a Biblical worldview and further into deception. As Government increasingly steals the place of God in the lives of the people we can be sure of a few things... deception will increase, it will be harder to reach the lost, and judgment will ensue.

When the Wheels fall off

Sometimes it seems that there is a constant barrage of stuff to deal with. When the personal life is strong, the professional life is having problems; when that is strong, there are family issues, etc. Is it that we are drama magnets? Is it that we can only focus on one thing at a time? Is it that we are that incompetent at life?

We find ourselves struggling to stay afloat, engaged, active and growing. It is hard. It is life's gut check. Funny how a cancer scare, or a blood test with questionable results, or even the loss of job can stress you out and redirect your priorities. Often when that happens, there is no one around to encourage you. You have to "encourage yourself in the Lord." (1 Sam 30.6)

The people had abandoned David after a failure. They spoke of stoning him. There was no one to encourage him. So...he did it himself. When the wheels are falling off the wagon we have to develop the habit of speaking the promises of God to ourselves. (2Peter 1.4) "The barren soul becomes pregnant only with hope." When the hope quotient is up you can face anything; when the faith is vibrant you can rise above the biggest swell, and outlast every storm.

If that is where you are today... don't give in, encourage yourself with the great promises of God. Today, mine was about God's great power, from Eph 3.20

...Exceeding above all we can ask or imagine...

Get Radically Committed

Acts 5.13 tells the story of how after the deaths fo Ananias and Sapphira people recognized that beign associated with the church was no trifling matter. God was taking this thing seriously. And so many were afraid to "join" them.

What is that joining all about? The context tells us that these folks were still associated with the church but they hung out on the fringe. What God was asking for from his church was a full on radical commitment. Association and commitment! These days the most radical thing you see in church is a soul patch on some dudes face. Christ deserves and demands more.

People don't see the importance of church membership these days because we have reduced it to signing a card. Or attending a set of classes. Church membership is a fearless commitment to the cause of Christ and the vision of a local assembly. I think that commitment is radical by todays standards! Many won't commit to a single thing in their life and they are the poorer for it. Rick Warren says that people who attend church and don't commit to membership are "Spiritual Adulterers" - equating the no-commitment to living together without committing to marriage.

Church membership is a two way commitment too. The Body of Members commit to watch out for one another (speak the truth, encourage, get involved, etc.) and to help one another (food pantry, minitries of helps, help with a bill now and again) as well as provide teaching, opportunities for growth and ministry, and service. God seems to move in amazing ways when people are in committed relationship.

So before you sign the card... ask yourself if you are ready to get radically committed.

Boycotting China

Sara Bongiorni decided that her family would try to live an entire year without using products that were made in China, and her findings are detailed in a book, "A Year Without 'Made in China': One Family's True Life Adventure in the Global Economy."

As she describes in an NPR interview, it is very difficult to avoid buying Chinese products. She spent weeks trying to buy birthday candles, and couldn't find sneakers for her children not made in China. Eventually she found sneakers made in Italy which cost $70 versus $15 for the pair made in China. When her coffeemaker broke, it was impossible to find a unit NOT made in China, so she ultimately was left with the old-fashioned option of heating water in a pan and pouring it over the beans each morning. Does that mean that French presses and Bialetti's are now made in China?

Bongiorni admits, "There's no way you can live anywhere near a normal life without buying things from China." She notes, for example, that nearly all telephones and cellular phones are made there.

So why do I avoid buying Chinese made products?

1) well its not because I am a bigot-

2) it revolves around their persecution of the Church there in China. They are among the most aggregious violators of personal religious freedom in the world.

3) And then there is the issue of censorship & imprisonment of journalists, cyber-dissidents and press freedom activists (consider missionarys who wander over the border and are imprisoned or human rights workers)

4) Consider the child, prison & sweatshop labour (we wonder how we can buy stuff so cheaply)

5) Think about the wholesale slaughter of endangered species & government sponsored slaughter of domesticated animals (several endangered species are almost gone)

6) Catastrophic pollution (16 of the world’s top 20 most polluted cities are in China)

7) Defective and dangerous products (remember the lead painted toy scandals... but maybe consumers are rethinking that)

When I shop, I read the labels. That is all you have to do. I put the "Made in China" thing back and buy the "Made in Honduras (or nearly any place else)" thing in the cart. When I find a made in USA label I give a shout!!!! But I am mostly quiet as I shop these days.

Daley Ridicules Supreme Court

This week Mayor Daley ridiculed the nations highest court's decisions regarding guns ownership. “Why can’t I go to the Supreme Court and sit there with a gun and listen to the arguments? If a gun is so important to us on the street or someone’s home, why can’t I go to the Supreme Court and sit there with a gun? I’m not gonna shoot anyone. But, I have a right to that gun,” Daley said. What an stupid thing for a public official to say! There is a bit of a difference between carrying a gun in to a public environment and being allowed to have one in your home.

Well, Mr. Mayor, the city of Chicago has banned hand guns long ago, how's that working for ya? Is there a dearth of murders in Chicago? Have you seen the end of street violence? Can you guarantee the safety of the citizens of Chicago? Well, of course not. And that is the problem. You have outlawed the ability for a private citizen to guarantee for himself what you are unable and unwilling to do.

But let's take Daley's ridiculous argument on. There are some people who are allowed to carry guns into courtrooms... they do it all the time. They are the police. Evidently, it isn't the gun that is dangerous- it is the mindset of criminal behavior. So, Mayor D you just want your people to have guns... and the rest of us are just potential victims for the criminals, right?

Owned Desires

This morning while waiting for a friend in a coffee shop, I was pondering how our desires change over time. I don't think I am speaking strickly about getting old but about the redirection of our desires. Much of this has to do with people we live and work with.

When I was a employee for a paint contractor- I would head off to work in the morning and as I got to the job I would lay aside all my desires (sleep in, eat a nice "Saturday breakfast", loaf around, etc) and embrace his desires. I did this because I was on the payroll (his dime- his time). If the boss wanted me to train people I did. If he wanted me to fire someone I did. You get the picture.

But when I went home I stopped embracing his desires and again took up my own. I know that doesn't sound amazing but it is when we compare it to the kingdom. Follow my thinking.

When I came to Christ in surrender I laid down my desires, most of them sinful, and yielded myself to Jesus. Sure there were times when my mind drifted back to those desires but I fought through those because I wanted to be a person of integrity. If I claimed Christ-I wanted to live Christ. During my walk with the Lord I have learned his nature and kindness and the wonder of his character. In this time I have embraced his desires fully. Most of my desires now are "borrowed" from him. Those desires that I embrace these days were given me by him- they are learned. (I hope that makes sense). So I care about others, and am concerned about them because he is. I help people because he is prodding me to. It doesn't mean I don't have selfish days where I try to do my own thing. But those desires are largely dormant. Growing in Christ means that you have owned desires... that you heart is infected with the heavenly virus.

However, and here I confess too much perhaps, I have noticed that when I give in to the selfishness- I can fall back into the habit of rejecting his desires and embracing or recreating my own. I can hide the secret desires of the flesh from everyone but God. And the very thought of this frightens me.

Lord, Help me to serve you with a whole heart. Create in me a new heart ready to hear, let me love what you love... let me cry over what moves you... let me rejoice over the things that bring you joy. Create the desires in me... occupy my heart and inculcate the things of heaven into my spirit so that I may lose myself in serving you. Let me, like a kernel of wheat, die and then bear fruit. May I spend enought time with you everyday that my desires are shaped. Lead me in the everlasting way...AMEN

How to confess to wrong doing

These 7 points are thoughtfully put together by Ken Sande in his book Peacemaker.

As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally. Instead, they use words like these: "I'm sorry if I hurt you." "Let's just forget the past." "I suppose I could have done a better job." "I guess it's not all your fault." These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. One way to do this is to use the Seven A's.

1.Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
2.Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3.Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4.Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5.Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6.Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7.Ask for forgiveness

This sounds so simple but is lacking in EVERY CONFLICT that comes into my office! If these were practiced by the church families and marriages we would have sound relationships that would be a testimony to those around us!

Alien Visitation

Imagine if you will that visitors from outer space visit the planet tonight. They land in Chicago and get a hotel room. Curious about this planet and the American culture that they are here to visit they tune into the TV in their hotel room to find out what are the issues that this culture faces. After an evening of cruising the channels they determine that the things that are uppermost on our minds are not the problems of our rotting inner cities, not the debilitating pace of life, nor the breakup of the nuclear family. It seems that we are not bothered by the fact that our children are spending their strength and their fortunes on drugs and drink, nor are we bothered by the soaring crime rates, and we are not bothered by the loneliness and disorientation that so many face in our society. The moral decline that is evidenced by the lyrics to Lady Gaga's and R Kelly's songs is what we are trying to address on the TV. No, after one evening of watching commercials and seeing the products that are being advertised they would identify the issues that are uppermost on our minds. Those things would be easily identifiable as bad breath, body odor, indigestion, depression, constipation and erectile dysfunction.

Why are we so blinded to the real issues that plague us? Why do we not see the moral decay that is eating the foundations of the righteous institutions in our country. God help us to see what is a real issue and what is a figment of Wall Streets need to sell us one more thing.

The Importance of Worship

What sets your life apart from that of your co-workers and friends? If you are a worshipper of God it is probably what you did first thing in the morning. Believers usually develop the habit of starting their day with worship early in their walk in the Spirit... my time of worship usually begins in the shower (a great place to sing praise to God). Soggy but sincere!

Adoration, thanksgiving, praise, worship- all are nuances of the same act. To praise God is to thank him for what he has done, to adore him is to express love, to give thanks is to demonstrate appreciation, to worship is to declare the high worth of the One who is over all. Each of these are empowering to us personally. We are unlikely to give a second gift to a person who does not seem appreciative of the first gift we have given them. In the same way, our praise and thanksgiving is an invitation to keep giving to us. Does that sound selfish? Well, it isn't! It is a recognition that we are completely dependant upon the God of the Universe for all that we are! 'Without Him, we can do nothing', the scripture assures us.

Christening our day with praise is defining for us the purpose of the day. We are to live to bring honor and glory to King Jesus by the way that we live our lives. Who else is worthy of being honored with our "unceasing" attention (1 Thess 5.17). Whatever we put our hands to, whatever direction our labors take us, they are to bring glory to Him (Col 3.17).

Yet often I know that Christians fail to begin their day properly. It stands to reason that no believer can give the whole day who does not give the first fruits of their day to the King! What could be more defining and shaping than lifting up the Name of the Savior. This habit of surrendering the rest of the day will reap the blessing of God. It will shape our decisions and our attitudes. It will correct our tendencies to lean on the flesh for decisions, and to adopt fleshly attitudes throughout the day, and it will set the enemy on his heels first thing in the morning.

Jesus taught that each day has enough trouble for itself. Trouble can find its way into any day, but the day that begins in praise and adoration consistently makes the declaration... Jesus is Lord and as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!

Scared...are You?

Are you scared? I am getting there. The recent terrorist attempt to blow up a plane with Americans flying in from Yemen has me a bit tweaked. Seems that we can't determine that a single Muslim man with no luggage and who is buying a one way ticket to the US should make some red flags go up. Further, it is bothersome that his name was actually known - he had been turned in by his father! This is now the second terrorist attack under the present administration. It seems to me that there simply isn't the war-time mentality that should be there in the security sector. Sympathy for the terrorist, but not for you and I. Concern about the rights of everyone except the honest and hardworking tax payers in our society.

The whole global warming thing seems to have been bolstered by bad science. At least that is what we are finding out as we read the emails from the creators of the famous "hockey stick" graph. Seems that this was all a sales job from the panic mongers.

I get a bit scared, too, when I see how our culture has fallen prey to the freakish and weird. A short look at the news or the news paper these days shows how our societal standards have fallen. Things once eschewed are now embraced publicly, and proudly and the next generation is growing up with the leftovers of relativism and nihilism. Basically, nothing has any intrinsic meaning, anything goes because nothing matters, and the worth of something or someone is based strictly in the utilitarian view of them. This undermines every institution in our land. Without a sense of right and wrong, without a clear understanding of human worth and honor, without a view of having to answer for our actions against another we stand at the brink of collapse.

This administration is seeking to set in place what seems to many (most) a foolish expenditure. This health care debacle is sending us down a horrible path. Already the Mayo Clinic is refusing to take Medicare payments because the payout is so low. Soon we will see the outworking of this failed policy that no one knows how to fund. So our taxes will skyrocket. Those who are not working will not be encouraged to work, those who live in reckless debt will not be rebuked, but the workers- those who work and pay taxes- will bear this burden too. Sunday's tribune had an article on the 2010 tax revolt that is brewing in the US. What will happen if people simply refuse to pay their taxes? What would happen if on April 15Th no envelopes came into the IRS? None. The Obama mantra of "Splurge. Borrow. Repeat" would stumble and sputter. Then what?

Anarchy? Chaos? Violence in the streets? like I said... it is getting scary.

Step Two to Balancing your life- Find Passion

There is no sense of balance in living as a slave. While most jobs have unpleasant things to do, the life of that finds passion and works in that area of passion is bound to find more joy and peace. I am not suggesting that we are to avoid work... work is a source of joy and peace and balances our life. But only when it is something that we can be passionate about. Carpenters should like working with wood, pastors should like working with people, and dog groomers should enjoy working with animals. It makes too much sense.

The shame is that so many of us don't have a clue about the things that we are passionate about. Spend some time taking an inventory of your internal passions. Some of those are God ordained strengths and gifts that waiting to be released to the world. When you are in that "sweet spot" you will be able to find the sense of balance that will be fulfilling.

Ironically, the joy and peace is found after the intensely selfish moments of introspection. Too often people get locked into looking at themselves. Real fulfillment happens when we give ourselves to serve others in the areas of our passion. Balance includes the focus of our passion on those who are around us.

Step one to balancing your life-Self Nurture

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."

Thomas Merton


The first step to balancing your life is to take care of your self. Essentials to this are rest, exercise, down time, spiritual meditation, and listening to your body.
Now at Christmas time it is almost a sin to talk about rest. But it is quite frankly the key to enjoying the season!

Too many of us try to get by on stunted sleep. Burning the candles at both ends can't be healthy... and often leaves us physically exhausted and affects our attitudes negatively.

Exercise stinks. (My opinion!) But the heart rate has to rise above sleeping occasionally- (smile). Long walks, time in the gym, regular calisthenics all have their place in a life of balance.

Chill time is crucial as well. You will be better for time in a hot bath, or sitting in the favorite chair reading something you don't 'have' to read for work. Rest and rejuvenate.

Prayer and meditation are also indispensable. They are the exercise for the spirit. To be fit as a fiddle physically and be spiritually shallow is a weakness. Your poor body will have to drag that aching spirit with you. Have you prayed today?

Listen to you body. Is it happy? Are you eating right? those aches and pains are the language of the body, describing the poignant need for a change in body management. Have you practiced fasting? Are you nurturing yourself?

The life of balance will lead you to a truer happiness than one of intense but frivolous energy expense. Remember the race is not to the swift, but to those who can endure...

To Santa or Not to Santa...

A lot of Christian parents face the dilemma of "to Santa or not". When my kids were little we were torn on whether to tell them about Santa or not. I didn't want to practice a form of deception on my kids and have them doubt other things that I was telling them (ie., the gospel of Jesus). So we, my wise and amazing wife and I, determined to keep them free of the juvenile delusion that is Santa (and the Easter Bunny for that matter). Yet, the question arose how to have them react with the kids at school and their little cousins who were believers (in Santa). We didn't want to be the buzz kill for the others but wanted to speak truthfully to our kids.

Truth is important in communicating to kids. And Christmas is gotta be confusing. Elves are fake, angels are real; wisemen from the east- real, reindeer with irridescent noses- not so real. Come on, and thingk like a kid. If they grow up thinking that storks bring kids, and bunnies bring candy, and elves make toys, etc. they are likely to not differentiate between the truth of the love of God for them and the childhood stories. Yet children deserve the freedom to develop their creative intellect and imagination too. So how do you practice truth and live in the world we live in?

For my wife and I, we felt that it was okay to teach our children that Santa was a game that people play. We told them that we would always tell them the truth because we were christians and that they were in on the secret of the Santa game. We asked them not to ruin the game for the other kids but to play along. It was fun to watch them look at us and giggle as other kids talked about Santa. We would wink and play along.

Not sure what you all have done... but that worked for us. We ended up unafraid of the fantasies of the world around us but with our kids trust in tact. And that trust has always served us well.

The Discriminatory "Non-Discrimination Act"

By Matt Barber

(Though I feel this is a very serious subject, this has some humor in it!- PD)

Today's Democratic leadership is a predictable lot. They've cornered the market on mass manipulation through semantic tinkering. It's a relatively easy code to crack. To decipher what Democrats mean versus what they say one need merely apply the "forked-tongue test."


If Dems say "Fairness Doctrine," expect unfairness in spades. When Harry Reid tags Obamacare the "Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act," we know that the patient gets hosed, and the "care" breaks the bank. Indeed, if the 111th Congress were to pass the "No Kicking Fuzzy Puppies Act," bet your Obama tax hike that Nancy Pelosi would be first in line to punt Poochie across the Capitol Rotunda.

And so it goes with the characteristically mislabeled "Employment Non-Discrimination Act" or ENDA (S. 1584 in the Senate and H.R. 3017 in the House). According to its leftist proponents, ENDA – which is under consideration in both houses of Congress – would merely insulate people who choose to engage in homosexual conduct (sexual orientation) or those who suffer from gender confusion (gender identity) against employment discrimination. But in truth, this legislation would effectively codify the very thing it purports to combat: workplace discrimination.

ENDA would force – under penalty of law – Christian, Jewish, or Muslim business owners to hire people who unrepentantly choose to engage in homosexual or cross-dressing behaviors, despite the fact that those volitional behaviors are in direct conflict with every major world religion, thousands of years of history, and uncompromising human biology.

This is no different than compelling a deeply religious business owner to hire and accommodate an "out and proud" adulterous "swinger." It's a direct assault on the inalienable rights of people of faith. It pits the government directly against the free exercise of religion and is, therefore, unconstitutional on its face.

During his second term, President Bush issued a Statement of Administration Policy on ENDA, pointing out its clearly unconstitutional nature. "[ENDA] is inconsistent with the right to the free exercise of religion as codified by Congress in the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA)," noted the statement. "The Act prohibits the Federal Government from substantially burdening the free exercise of religion except for compelling reasons, and then only in the least restrictive manner possible. [ENDA] does not meet this standard."

The fact that our current president both supports ENDA and prefers our sacred Constitution as potty paper for the aforementioned Poochie makes ENDA no less unconstitutional.

Chai Feldblum (pronounced "high" as in "stoned") is a lesbian activist and sexual anarchist attorney who supports legalized polygamy and bisexual polyamory. She has been nominated by President Obama to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). This is like having Michael Moore guard the donuts. In the past, Feldblum – ENDA's chief framer and, if confirmed, one of five commissioners charged with its enforcement – has candidly summed-up the mindset behind the bill.

Feldblum believes that the battle between religious freedom and unfettered sexual license (aka, "gay rights") is a "zero sum game," meaning that the two cannot possibly coexist in harmony. One must triumph over the other. (Guess who wins in her twisted analysis?)

When asked about the Christian business owner or religious organization that morally objects to hiring people openly engaged in the homosexual lifestyle, Feldblum snapped: "Gays win; Christians lose." And where Americans' constitutionally guaranteed right to religious liberty comes into conflict with the postmodern concept of "gay rights," Feldblum has admitted having "a hard time coming up with any case in which religious liberty should win." Of course Feldblum's analysis is entirely arbitrary and completely unsupported by any reasonable constitutional interpretation or federal precedent.

In fact ENDA would – for the first time since the Constitutional Convention – extend special, federally preferred government status to individuals based upon a changeable and objectively aberrant sexual lifestyle, rather than requiring that such status be delineated by immutable, non-behavioral characteristics such as skin color or gender.

Former Secretary of State Collin Powell put it well when he said, "Skin color is a benign, non-behavioral characteristic. Sexual orientation is perhaps the most profound of human behavioral characteristics. Comparison of the two is a convenient but invalid argument."

But Ken Hutcherson, a prominent, well-respected African-American pastor from the Seattle area, summed it up even better, stating rather incisively: "Don't compare your sin to my skin."

Don't Go to Church if...

I hear all the time that people have given up gathering with other like minded believers. They routinely tell me that their relationship with Jesus is much deeper than gathering to watch a "worship concert" and hear a teaching. And, surprisingly, I agree. It is possible to have a relationship with God outside the walls of the assembled brethren. But I would be remiss if I didn't say that I have also heard stories of great tragedy from those who wandered from fellowship. Families that broke up, morality that crumbled, and souls that were... well, lost because they wandered from faith. The scripture warns that we should gather frequently to make sure we are challenged by the Word preached and that we can worship (with or without music).

So don't go to church if...

You are looking to appease God by some form of religious "doing". Attending services doesn't necessarily please God. Some of the sickest and most twisted people attend services regularly... thank God, they need it! Gathering with the church is a way to insure that you will have a challenge to your mind and spirit by the Word; you will be given an opportunity to fulfill the biblical mandates to worship in song, in heart, in giving, and in service to others; and it insures you the opportunity to help others.

Don't go if you are selfish and only care about yourself. We are people who need each other and are unashamed of that fact. We have chosen to stick together and gather to make a greater impact than we might as individuals in this society. Together we can help the brother or sister who is short grocery money this week by all throwing in $5. What do people do who have a friend in need but don't attend church? In my experience, they send them to the church!

Don't go if you aren't serious about worship. At least here at CLC we are pretty determined to connect with God. Through songs, through silence, through meditating on a scripture, etc. we are trying to connect with the gracious one who saved us by his blood.

Don't go if you know everything. There isn't any room for your big brain in the place. Of course, the question isn't have you heard it before... the question is are you living it out every day. Are you loving? Are you kind? Are you giving? Are you selfless? Are you... like Jesus?

Don't go to church if there is no hunger for change. The last thing the Lord needs from his kids is another hard hearted and recalcitrant kid. The place is already slammin' full of hypocrites. (don't fear... there is room for another!)Soft hearts are demanded by him in order to be molded into the Jesus shape.

But for me I need it. I need my friends and my family to challenge me to live for Jesus the other 6 days of the week too.I need to be reminded that watching hockey isn't the biggest priority in my life- loving people is. I need to be moved by the testimony of fellow strugglers, i need to hear about miracles in other peoples lives, I need to be moved emotionally by songs, videos, images, and stories of the goodness of my God. It gets me through. But more... it gets me out of the church and into the world. This time with a mission to help another and point to a Savior.

Absorbing Shocks

I've been connecting with a lot of old friends. (Most of my friends are old :-) - but by that I mean that these are people I've know for a while!) Some I haven't seen in many years. For a lot of us life has been difficult. Personal loss, relational challenges, sickness, economic hardships, ministry troubles... the list goes on. I reflect on the things that I have gone through over these recent years, and that list is pretty scarey as well. So I have come to the conclusion that God doesn't keep his kids from the problems and drama of life.

When I say that I know full well that my life could be much worse if Christ were not daily intervening in my messy and imperfect life. I have "dodged the bullet" many times and I realize that it is not my "ninja reflexes" that accomplished that but rather the faithfulness of God. Yet, 'into every life a little rain must fall' the saying goes. These things test our resolve, our faith, and nearly everything else in our lives. How we respond determines the impact of the events that test us.

This summer I watched with horror as two people I care about greatly flipped in their canoe at the base of a multistory water fall. Freaking out didn't help so we all pitched in and pulled em out of the drink and emptied their canoe and put them on their way again. At the end of the day, it was a blip on the radar. One minute they were just hats floating through the rapids... a few hours later they were laughing around a fire. Now don't get me wrong, it could have been bad. But attitude and friends helped make the situation better.

Likewise when we are in the thick of it... when stuff is hitting proverbial fans... when life sucks the strength out of you... we need to do a few things to survive so we can laugh about it later.
1.) Look for friends to help your through it. Hopefully you will have amassed a large group of supporters and encouragers in your life by that point. Lean on them and they will help you "out of the drink".
2.) Make sure that you have a great attitude of faith and a positive outlook on life. That will help you through
3.) See number one? remember that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother... his name in Jesus.
This is my story. God hasn't protected us from the bumps in the road... but he is a heck of shock absorber!

Prophetic Ministry

Too often Christians misunderstand prophetic ministry. They think that prophetic ministry is spooky or scarey. Many pastors shrink from having prophetic brothers and sisters into their churches because there is a certain amount of control given up when we let anyone minister in our pulpits. This fleshly fear is the kind of insecurity that the Devil plays with in the heart of the pastor or minister. But churches need prophecy. The word of the Lord needs to be shared in the life of the church for the health of the church. Describing the church meeting the apostle Paul writes (1 Cor 14.26) "Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification." NKJV Any restriction on the giftings out of fleshly fear will stifle the church from being "edified" or built up.

Here are some healthy guidelines for prophetic minsitry in the church.

First, prophecy is public. One glance at 1 Cor 14 will clearly tell that all must be able to "say Amen!"ESV to the prophetic word. At CLC we are very leery of any word that is private. Even when Paul was told that he would be bound to prison(Acts 21.11) it was done publicly. This insures clarity and accountability.

Secondly, prophecy in the church must be judged. No word should come forth that is not stood up and examined (1 Cor 14.29). The person at the pulpit who is in charge of the meeting, should acknowledge the Spirit's moving. Too often pastors run away from "hear what the Spirit is saying". Sometimes someone will speak out of emotion, or out of their flesh and not out of the Spirit- it is important that leadership gently confront the speaker in an effort to encourage the gifts but insist upon their genuineness and integrity.

Third, prophecy should flow from a clean vessel. I disregard any prophetic word from a liar, a thief, a greedy heart, or a person in sexual sin. It may be necessary in some circumstances, to restrict prophetic words to those who are known to the leadership.

Fourth, prophecy needs to be pastored. It is too easy to remember wrongly the word spoken over your heart. Emotions run high and cloud our hearing. These days it is easy to get a recorder to get the word exactly right. We ask each person who receives a word to write it down (or better, type it out) and give it to their pastor. That pastor should go over the following things with his sheep. (1)What things were revealed that I understand ; (2) What things were revealed that I do not understand (pray for clarity); (3) what action points are there for the person to perform, (4) What things do they need to trust the Lord for. That directive of the Lord that is honored will be certain to be a blessing.

Prophetic ministry is a powerful tool used to build up the church in it's holy faith. It builds the commodity of hope in the heart of the individual. We all need hope- it is the foundation of faith. And faith is the currency of the Kingdom.

Keep on Keeping on

Certain times in our life are defined by dry heavens. There seems to be no rain, no voice from God, no answers to prayer, and no freedom. These times feel exhausting and laborious. We find ourselves weary in doing good and begin to question all that we have previously learned from our times with God.

These times are a test of our spirits strength and perseverance. They are tedious and seem to be long and drawn out. When we are going through them we have to remember that we are not out of God's line of sight.And we are certainly loved by him during this time.

Apollo 11 had an experience that reminds me of this. As they were orbiting the moon NASA lost communication with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren. the world waited in silence to see if they would emerge on the other side of the moon and reestablish communication. During that phase of the trip the Astronauts went through the dark side of the moon and lost contact with the guiding voice of Houston. The key to surviving the dark side of the moon was to keep doing what you had been trained to do and to keep on doing what you were supposed to do. Any deviation from the plan and they might end up careening through space completely off the mark.

When I am going through these testing times I don't change very much. I might intensify my prayer life but that is about it. I do everything in my power to stay on course. Of course, my emotions can get the best of me at times and I can fail or sin. This reveals weakness in me and in my character. Thankfully, God is forgiving and merciful - Always. I learn through these times what I am made of.

Eventually I know that I will pass outside of the dark side and communication will be reestablished. What a sense of relief! What a sense of victory! But until then, we keep on keeping on.