Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Still the hardest thing I do...

Not sure why this is, and it certainly doesn't sound spiritual, but in the interest of honesty I have to admit-Prayer is still the hardest thing I do. Don't get me wrong or think that I am in some fleshly way- I love prayer. God's presence is unmistakeably number one in my book. I love it. It is awesome. The presence of God is amazingly comforting when I am down, a fountain of wisdom when I am dry, and my therapist when I am in crisis! Yet the path there, into the presence, getting myself to go there on a regular and consistant basis takes alot of work.

Today I took a prayer break, began saying something like," here I am Lord, I want to glorify you in every are of my life... I want you to be pleased with the things I think, do, and say... " As I whispered those thing in a heartfelt manner to God with my eyes closed... I fell asleep. WHAT! that can't be true. I can't imagine falling asleep while talking to my wife... but I did it to God! TO GOD!

When Jesus was angry with his disciples failure to keep up in the prayer room, he reminded them that though the spirit is willing the flesh is weak. My body, AND my sinful nature conspire against me being Godly upon occassion.

Perhaps it is the limitation of humanity. Perhaps it is my own foible. Or perhaps it is common- I don't know. I just know that having a consistant meaningful prayer life is the hardest thing I do... EVERYDAY.


Linda said...

Imagine that.. I am not alone.. wow.. thank you for your honesty Pastor..

I find myself witnessing to people, sowing seeds, and then asking myself.. when do you pray for YOU? :( LORD HELP ME!!!

I do pray, throughtout the day, but I wonder to myself... "am i doing this faith walk correctly?"???

rgeorge61 said...

I have found myself praying and forgetting what I am praying about or losing my train of thought and I think it is because we are so limited. Not using that as an excuse but it is a fact. We see through a glass darkly. We are flesh and blood and are limited but when we do break through and hear our Lord respond and give insight to situations that is beyond is when we see its worth. I think that prayer is the best thing we can do and the hardest thing we can do. I believe its more common to struggle in prayer than most of us would want to admit.

Pastor Dave said...

Sometimes prayer is simply a matter of fullfilling the obligation to the spiritual discipline. That in itself is life changing--- Then there are those moments when it moves from the mere outward observance and obedience to an encounter with God. Without the former- you cannot have the latter.

Paul M. Harrison said...

Ha! I have always fallen asleep during prayer and lost my train of thought. I think the reason is because we imagine intimacy - resting, looking inward, talking to a person we aren't looking at, but imagining is there. We sense His presence at times or imagine we are resting in His love or compassion. That sense of peacefulness I think lends towards resting and may actually be a complment to God.

I still enjoy prayer, even when my conversation with God is, "This is why it is so hard for me to believe you are even here" type prayers.