Thursday, August 13, 2009

10 Tips for being a Better Wife

1. Flirt with your husband at inappropriate times. Rub his back while he’s talking to a friend on the phone. Pinch his butt in church. Whisper in his ear in the doctors waiting room. Keep romance alive

2. Keep yourself clean and attractive. Don’t always give him the “sweatpants, no makeup, greasy hair, baby burp- look”. Work out enough to be strong in your old age. Dress nicely. If you get dressed up to go to dinner with your girl friends, then make the same effort when you two go out to the show.

3. Fix up your bedroom so that it is a love sanctuary. It is hard to be romantic in a jungle of dirty laundry and dog hair.

4. Get over it. Forgive and move on. A bitter woman is unattractive. A lonely bitter woman is even less so- get it?

5. Listen to his stories. Make sure that the children don’t always interrupt and push him into the background. He may stop talking altogether. Remember- the kids will leave the nest… and then you will be stuck with a non communicative husband.

6. Don’t nag. Find the right time and place to share your frustrations and disappointments. Maybe the sentence should begin with “Honey, it would really bless me if you would remember to take out the garbage…” (as opposed to “ hey dimwit, take out the trash…)

7. Give him space to be himself but keep him close to the family. Tell him about what the kids are saying/doing. Tell him its time to have a talk with Junior. Tell him how important he is to the family- cause he is.

8. Sex. Lots of it and varied. The world is over sexed and full of temptation and lust. You are the best thing that ever happened to him…. Even if your 15 pounds heavier than when you met. So believe in yourself and your marriage- that God put the two of you together make “sweet music”.

9. Be a strong woman. Be confident and competent. But know when to let him “rescue you”. Every guy wants to be a hero. Every woman wants to be rescued by a stud. Let him know when you are a ‘Damsel in Distress’- but you can’t always be helpless.

10. Stay spiritually in tune with God. yeah, he should be the spiritual leader of the home but don't pile on when he isn't. There will be times when you are the strong spiritual link to the Lord. Be ready for it. And Pray for your man.

25 Tips on How to Stay Married

by Sharon Randall

These are good... wish I'd have thought of them.

1. Always put her first - before work, friends, even basketball. Act as if she's the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know she is.

2. Keep no secrets. Pool your money. Allow nothing and no one to come between you.

3. Pick your fights with care. Play fair. Show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they're hard to forget.

4. Fall in love again every day. Kiss her in taxis. Flirt with her at parties. Tell her she's beautiful. Then tell her again.

5. Never miss an anniversary or a birthday or a chance to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day they'll be gold.

6. Never give her a practical gift. If she really wants a Shop-Vac, let her pick it out herself.

7. Go to church together, and pray every day for each other and your marriage.

8. Pay your bills on time and make sure you each have a living will, a durable power of attorney and life insurance, lest, God forbid, you need them.

9. Love her parents as your own, but don't ask them for money. Never criticize her family or friends. On her birthday, send flowers to her mother with a note saying, "Thank you for giving birth to the love of my life."

10. Always listen to her heart; if you're wrong, say you're sorry; if you're right, shut up.

11. Don't half-tie the knot; plan to stay married forever.

12. Never go to bed mad; talk until you're over it, or you forget why you were mad.

13. Laugh together a lot. If you can laugh at yourselves, you'll have plenty to laugh about.

14. Never criticize, correct or interrupt her in public; try not to do it in private either.

15. Remember that people are the least lovable when they are most in need of love.

16. Never fall for the myth of perfectionism; it's a lie.

17. When you don't like each other, remember that you love each other; pray for the "good days" to return and they will.

18. Tell the truth, only the truth, with great kindness.

19. Kiss at least 10 seconds a day, all at once or spread out.

20. Memorize all her favorite things and amaze her with how very well you know her.

21. Examine your relationship as often as you change the oil in your car; keep steering it on a path you both want it to go.

22. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, and never stop growing spiritually.

23. Never raise your voice unless you're on fire. Whisper when you argue.

24. Be both friends and lovers; in a blackout, light a candle, then make your own sparks.

25. Finally, be an interesting person, lead your own life. But always save your best for each other. In the end, you will know you were better together than you ever could've been apart.

Here's to happily ever after.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

10 tips for being a better Husband

I am no expert, but after nearly 29 years of being married, I’m confident that these Top 10 things any man can do to make himself a much better husband.

1. Be humble. We have to be willing to admit our failures to our wives and kids. Too often I have had couples who never offer real apologies and never give real forgiveness. When you make a mistake … own up to the facts. You will ultimately gain respect in the long run.

2. Pay attention when she speaks. Put the remote down, the cell phone away, and turn the TV down. Listen for her emotions not just facts to debate. Remember what she says and likes when you are being dragged around the mall… listen for gift ideas for future events.

3. Gentle , Big boy. The tone of our words, the harshness in which we live in the world, and our tempers often get in the way of real communication.

4. Think out loud. She might be surprised that you think at all. She might be mortified what you think about. But she will be excited to know your actually sharing your inner thoughts with her. (BTW- you can even share your struggles!)

5. Give Gifts. Women love to receive gifts. You don’t have to wait until Valentines Day, her birthday or your anniversary. BTW- you might try to spend your money on her rather than that new fishing rod!

6. Be Sexual. But don’t be perverse. Not everything is about the bedroom. If you honor as sacred your moments of intimacy you will likely have more of them to ponder…

7. Ask her about her day. Then listen to what she says. Don’t give advice unless asked.

8. Stop worrying about being on time. You will likely be late to some events… do you want to be arguing with her all the way there and back too?

9. Notice her appearance. She doesn’t smell like your buddy Bill… so tell her she smells good. If you like the way those pants look on her.. .tell her. Otherwise, you might end up with her smelling like Bill! BTW- you should shower too!

10. Hold her hands, rub her shoulders, and touch her in non-sexual ways. You will have to practice this. Please don’t count slapping her behind as an effective touch :')

Monday, August 03, 2009

Show Offs

I got done mowing the grass today and walked up from the garage. In my defense, it is uphill, I had been mowing and working for the better part of the ninety degree day- by the time I got to the house I was exhausted. Did you ever get so tired that you were concerned about yourself? Well, that is how tired I was.

In my fifties I realize that I am not in great shape, but why are we so frail. My son fractured his heal and he was off his feet for 6 or 7 weeks! Clearly we bounce back and are designed to heal ourselves (that in itself is amazing!)But why weren't we designed to be more invincible. Why aren't we more like Robocop and less like, the Pillsbury Dough boy! The Apostle Paul gives us a hint in 2 Cor 4.7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

Here he reveals that our weakness and frailty is a part of the grand design! The clay pot (our frail human body) is functional to carry the the majestic image of God and his glory. We can face amazingly horrible circumstances and difficulties and find our way through them. For the follower of Christ- the one who endeavors to live his life for Jesus- there is a promise that God will give us his strength to live by. God's power working through us is the testament to our frailty and his "surpassing strength". Doesn't this intimate that as Christ followers we are to be in over our head? Doesn't it say that we are to be doing more than "normal" living? Isn't there an implied promise of living supernaturally?

And while we are enduring afflictions and persecution and facing the press of life and even the blows against us we are allowing the life of Christ to flourish in us and be shown off to the world. Wouldn't it be better to live our lives as show offs?