Saturday, July 15, 2006

Shut off the !@#$%^ phone

Today I did a funeral/memorial service. It was interrupted by 5 cell phone rings. Come on people! Out of respect for the church service don't you think that there should be a mandated cell phone scrambler in churches? YOU THINK I'M KIDDIN'? believe me if the technology was affordable I'd scramble... your darn right I'd scramble!

But since the technology is not cheap enough for us to afford in the house of the Lord I thought I would publish some cell phone etiquette for the masses of people who are so important that memorializing dead relatives or talking to the King of Creation is merely brushed aside so that JR. could call and tell us that he is leaving the stop and shop and spent money on a slurpy!

Never take a personal mobile call during a business meeting. This includes interviews and meetings with co-workers or subordinates.
Maintain at least a 10-foot zone from anyone while talking.
Never talk in elevators, libraries, museums, restaurants, cemeteries, theaters, dentist or doctor waiting rooms, places of worship, auditoriums or other enclosed public spaces, such as hospital emergency rooms or buses. And don't have any emotional conversations in public — ever.
Don't use loud and annoying ring tones that destroy concentration and eardrums. Grow up!
Never "multi-task" by making calls while shopping, banking, waiting in line or conducting other personal business.
Keep all cellular congress brief and to the point.
Use an earpiece in high-traffic or noisy locations. That lets you hear the amplification, or how loud you sound at the other end, so you can modulate your voice.
Tell callers when you're talking on a mobile, so they can anticipate distractions or disconnections.
Demand "quiet zones" and "phone-free areas" at work and in public venues, like the quiet cars on the Amtrak Metroliner.
Inform everyone in your mobile address book that you've just adopted the new rules for mobile manners. Ask them to do likewise. Please.

take the cell phone quiz

PreVacation Vacation

I think we all have faced this before. It is the vacation that your brain takes before your vacation. I know that you want to work hard the week before you leave on vacation but your brain says something in brainese that sounds like "hrmp.. hrmpp... work hard.. hrmp all the time... not any more...hrmp" and that is the end. So you fake it when the boss walks by, shuffling papers from the left side of the desk to the right side... you walk around a lot and hold up your phone to your ear and say things like... GET BACK TO ME ON THAT ASAP!... loud enough for everyone to hear. What is up with that?!

Really the one week vacation is about 13 and a half days if you count the three days before and three days after the vacation. So relax.. your getting more time off than your thought!

Friday, July 07, 2006

What I Hate About ME!

While there are a number of strong runners up- what I hate most about myself is my temper. I mean I have a mean streak that is unbecoming a christian man. I can usually (though certainly not always) keep my stuff together in public but it doesn't take much when I am tired and fatigued to send me over the rail -especially if I am alone. And I am almost always alone when I am driving!
Drivers rage is an amazing bit of psychological mellodrama. I wonder if others are like me. I rant, pound, and get worked up over stuff that I have absolutely no control over. How foolish! And what about the other luncaies that I rave about in my quiet times? I find myself pacing, or loosing sleep or even just breathing out deep sighs while watching TV because I am so frustrated.
While by societal standards I don't have a filthy mouth- I do have a sharp tongue. And anger is the trigger for that edgy tongue. Ripping the idiots! Cutting on the morons! And jabbing the jerks! I'm not too proud of that aspect of my personality.
The sad thing is I don't see too much change in the last few years. I used to hold out hope of a shining uncynical day. Now I am pretty much convinced that I will never be completely set free from being a hot head. And if you are set free and your world is always calm... that really ticks me off!