Thursday, September 04, 2008

Saving Our Daughters from the Hook up Culture

I am increasingly concerned about our college aged young people. On one hand they are increasingly more astute, savy, and mature with regard to many issues. Yet they may still be more likely to sleep in til 11 after a night of hard gaming. They are a mixed bag. Purposefully more mature in some areas and resistant to stepping into the responsibilities of adulthood as quickly as their parents. And they will live longer so they can put off child rearing and building a family and getting serious about living. What they aren't doing en masse is abstaining from adult sexuality. In fact the articles about the hook up culture are frightening for those of us who are serious about the teachings of Jesus on sexuality. This can be blamed partly on those services that are supposed to help them make those decisions. Dr. Miriam Grossman recentl wrote in an article of her expereince as a Campus physician.

She writes, " I was a campus physician for years, and know firsthand how students suffer from the toxic Sex in the City lifestyle on our campuses. College health and counseling services are packed with casualties of the anything-goes sexual mentality; many are girls who practiced “safer sex.” They did as they were told and used “protection,” but still paid a hefty price: genital warts and blisters, pre-cancerous conditions, worries about slipped condoms and HIV—to say nothing of chaotic, empty relationships and broken hearts.

These young women had been misled, and had a false sense of security. They were led to believe—not only by Hollywood, but by the nation’s leading sex ed organizations and popular health education sites like Columbia University’s—that they are just like men, that sex is easily separated from emotions and procreation, and that with “protection,” casual liaisons can be a natural, positive part of growing up.

That philosophy is a result of social activists of the last century: Alfred Kinsey, Hugh Hefner, Gloria Steinem—figures that Bristol’s generation study in history class. Even the HIV-era notion of “safer sex” was developed years before they were born. While you’d hardly know it from the advice these kids get from sex educators or Columbia’s Alice, the world has changed. In this century, we’re fighting a horde of bugs, and the bugs are winning.

Canonized by the sex ed industry and considered transparent truths, “safer sex” guidelines are out of date. In 2008, it’s not enough to communicate with “partners,” get tested for STI’s, and use condoms. These days, young people—especially girls—who wish to avoid sexually transmitted infections need a different plan.

If we are serious about protecting our daughters, we must spell out a clear, no-nonsense message: the ideal is to delay sexual activity, and eventually commit to someone who also waited. The closer she can get to that, the better. Then provide her with some critical facts she’s unlikely to hear elsewhere:

A young woman has unique biological sensitivities that increase her vulnerability to the consequences of sexual activity. For example, intimacy releases oxytocin, a primarily female hormone that fuels feelings of attachment and trust. This chemical turns red lights green. It alters brain chemistry, so she’s more likely to overlook a guy’s faults, and to take risks she otherwise wouldn’t. A girl surely doesn’t want her brain drenched with oxytocin when making critical decisions like: What do I think of him? How far do I want this to go? This might explain the recent unpublished data from Princeton University indicating that for 80 percent of female students on that campus, hook-ups were followed by regret.
A young cervix has a delicate area only one cell thick, placing teens at risk for HPV. This is the case even if she’s been vaccinated. With time, the cervix grows a thicker, tougher surface, making infection less likely. A guy’s genital system doesn’t have a vulnerable area like that.
Most guys who have an STI don’t know it, even after they’ve been tested. While it’s easiest to share viruses when warts or sores are present, transmission can also occur at other times, when everything looks OK. So a woman could get an incurable genital infection from someone who doesn’t know he has it. Condoms reduce the risk by only 60 to 70 percent.
Other activities, such as oral or anal sex, can also be hazardous. Having more than five oral sex “partners” has been associated with throat cancer. As for anal penetration, the Food and Drug Administration—the agency responsible for promoting and protecting the public health—puts it well: “Condoms provide some protection, but anal intercourse is simply too dangerous to practice.”
As millions of American parents send their daughters off to college this week, many have a silent prayer on their lips. For good reason: sexual behavior is a serious matter, and a single encounter can have life-long consequences, especially for a woman.

Listen up, Planned Parenthood, SIECUS, and Columbia University: That’s not sexist—it’s biology. And ignorance or denial of this fact only increases a girl’s vulnerability.

We need to remind girls that the characters on Grey’s Anatomy are not real. In real life, Meredith would have herpes or warts. In real life, she’d be paying a price for her choices. Young women must know that now more than ever, it’s wise to follow the lesson of hard science: be very, very careful about who you allow close to you."

hmmm- perhaps the wisdom of Scripture isn't that strange and foriegn to healthy sexuality. Maybe the Father really does know best ;-)

1 comment:

Laura G. said...

Well, said Pastor Dave!!!!! As a parent of a daughter who just turned 14, as a camp counselor in the last 3 years seeing 4 thru 6 th grade girls exhibiting boy crazy behavior, and having served in the 1-6 grade level in schools, hearing stories from my then 6th grader of girls in middle school expressing "out loud" they are going to have sex with their boyfriends, I see this issue stealing the innocents of our girls, unfortunately way before the college years experiences you wrote about compound the problem.
I believe the mind set of God design needs to be set at a much earlier age in girls, and that the skewed world view of choice and freedom are in need of defining -resetting for those who believe the lie that premarital sex and petting are ok Parents need the alternative information and need to talk about it now with their kids before Planned Parenthood or the school does or their peer group does...Which leads me into the next point. I thought this was worth sharing.
I was fortunate enough to hear Dr. Tony Evans give a talk on the subject of promiscuity/premarital sex and comparing it with the God-ordained design of the female anatomy. A few points he touch on that spoke to me were as he explained how the female body, is to be regarded with sacredness (even the bone behind the pelvis is named "sacral or sacrum" ) as he compared it to the tabernacle in the OT. Not just anyone was allowed in the tabernacle; it is were God was the giver of life. Nor should just anyone be allowed into that area of the female body where life is possible. The womb in housed in the deep center of the pelvic cavity. He went onto even speak to reason for hair to protect the genitalia & hymen with comparison of the curtain on the tabernacle, the denigration of the womb in abortion, etc.
Dr. Evans went on further, for over 40 minutes, you know how he can but with a certain seriousness, it needed to be said. As I listened I a great sense of awe come over me with a simultaneous sense of regret....If only I would of known in my youth that that was how special God made me as a female. Oh that is why virginity is regarded as special....Those that tarnished or even touched the temple/tabernacle in the OT days, would literally die.....Oh so that's why Dad's say "they're going to kill anyone who touches us lol....Today, maybe we (females) don't die instantly from this tarnishing.....but instead die slowly whether from disease, or emotional turmoil, or mental confusion, filled with a sense of numbness to the beauty of ourselves in that union that God so wonderfully designed it to be - with that security and safety you expressed earlier Pastor Dave.
I read in a book entitled "Choosing God's Best" an analogy that described the premarital sex act in its comparison to God's design in marriage "and they became one" as two pieces of paper glued together/dried so they wouldn't separate, and in marriage thats the point, but in premarital sex/dating situations where there is no commitment, the pieces of paper are torn apart, shredding and ripping at each other as they try to be two again, but unable, having left pieces of the other on eachother when the "unhooking" (break-up) occurs. And then we try with another person, and another etc. No wonder we are all so broken and incomplete when we finally do find the right guy....

I try to share these teachings to as many young girls as possible as the situation permits. It has made a profound change in my healing of my past and future choices & I hope it in turn saves the girls I speak with from bad choices. The CHOICE THE REAL CHOICE IS GOD FOR ONLY IN HIM IS TRUE GIRL POWER, & FREEDOM. And yes I am in agreement...Father does know best.. Thanks for speaking out boldly on this topic!!!