Approval

Father of mine, if you could see
Would you approve of the life that I lead
My everyday choices and language and such
Fail, so it seems, to mean very much

My character was formed by watching you then
When you walked in the kitchen and in the den
Stoic and quiet, you tackled your day
Even the last ones passed quietly

Were you afraid when they told you of death
Did you worry like I do about your last breath
Did it break your heart that you wouldn't retire
And sit with your grandkids around a fire

I want you to know that in me you loom large
Though you are out there or up there with the stars
I wish you could see what I have become
I hope you'd approve of the things I have done

In moments of quiet and darkness and fear
I fail to be strong as I would if you were near
I know that my foibles and sins would trouble you
But if you were here, you could inform me on how to get through

The gapping hole left in the soul of a lad
is still on the inside - and it drives me mad
I work very hard in hopes of your nod
Approval, ever silent, so onward I plod.