These 7 points are thoughtfully put together by Ken Sande in his book Peacemaker.
As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally. Instead, they use words like these: "I'm sorry if I hurt you." "Let's just forget the past." "I suppose I could have done a better job." "I guess it's not all your fault." These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. One way to do this is to use the Seven A's.
1.Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
2.Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3.Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4.Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5.Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6.Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7.Ask for forgiveness
This sounds so simple but is lacking in EVERY CONFLICT that comes into my office! If these were practiced by the church families and marriages we would have sound relationships that would be a testimony to those around us!
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