This morning while waiting for a friend in a coffee shop, I was pondering how our desires change over time. I don't think I am speaking strickly about getting old but about the redirection of our desires. Much of this has to do with people we live and work with.
When I was a employee for a paint contractor- I would head off to work in the morning and as I got to the job I would lay aside all my desires (sleep in, eat a nice "Saturday breakfast", loaf around, etc) and embrace his desires. I did this because I was on the payroll (his dime- his time). If the boss wanted me to train people I did. If he wanted me to fire someone I did. You get the picture.
But when I went home I stopped embracing his desires and again took up my own. I know that doesn't sound amazing but it is when we compare it to the kingdom. Follow my thinking.
When I came to Christ in surrender I laid down my desires, most of them sinful, and yielded myself to Jesus. Sure there were times when my mind drifted back to those desires but I fought through those because I wanted to be a person of integrity. If I claimed Christ-I wanted to live Christ. During my walk with the Lord I have learned his nature and kindness and the wonder of his character. In this time I have embraced his desires fully. Most of my desires now are "borrowed" from him. Those desires that I embrace these days were given me by him- they are learned. (I hope that makes sense). So I care about others, and am concerned about them because he is. I help people because he is prodding me to. It doesn't mean I don't have selfish days where I try to do my own thing. But those desires are largely dormant. Growing in Christ means that you have owned desires... that you heart is infected with the heavenly virus.
However, and here I confess too much perhaps, I have noticed that when I give in to the selfishness- I can fall back into the habit of rejecting his desires and embracing or recreating my own. I can hide the secret desires of the flesh from everyone but God. And the very thought of this frightens me.
Lord, Help me to serve you with a whole heart. Create in me a new heart ready to hear, let me love what you love... let me cry over what moves you... let me rejoice over the things that bring you joy. Create the desires in me... occupy my heart and inculcate the things of heaven into my spirit so that I may lose myself in serving you. Let me, like a kernel of wheat, die and then bear fruit. May I spend enought time with you everyday that my desires are shaped. Lead me in the everlasting way...AMEN